Wednesday, December 30, 2009


Sorry I was M.I.A. for awhile, we took a trip to Colorado for Christmas to visit my JillyBean. It was totally unplanned, in fact we gave them about 13 hours notice that we would be coming and staying with them for 4 days, talk about a surprise.

It was an amazing trip and it just made me want to get to Colorado that much more. It was probably my favorite Christmas yet. If we don't live there by next year then I could definitely see us taking this trip again but we're crossing our fingers that we'll be moved by then.

We've only been back a few days and I already miss J, D, and Princess. The kids are bugging me about when we're going back because we all had so much fun. We'll be planning another trip this summer because J and I want to go to Lilith Fair in Denver (we've already got our shirts picked out and everything).

The only problem with loving Colorado so much is that it just makes Oklahoma look even worse and I didn't even know that was possible.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

You're Not Welcome

I have decided to start calling my female cycle Gertrude, maybe Gertie for short. I hate that name and I hate my cycle so it just fits (sorry to any readers that may be named Gertrude). I was supposed to be done with this crap but damn Gertie keeps coming back. Gertie makes me a little crazy like just last night. I was driving to the worst place on Earth, Walmart, and I started crying, I just kept thinking 'I hate my life, I hate this place, I want to move but it's just so hopeless' and then the floodgates opened and I was sobbing (I know, I'm crazy, like straight jacket kind of crazy). Well, not even two minutes later my daughter said something strange (I don't even remember what it was) and all of a sudden I was cracking up laughing, like hysterically. At this point I realized something wasn't right and made a note to call my doctor Monday morning. But it wasn't until I got home and saw Gertie was here that it finally all made sense. Stupid Gertie, I wish that bitch would die.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Extra Motivation From My Scale

I'm fat, a lot of you already know this, I've lost 50 pounds but I still have a ways to go. I also have no problems posting my weight on here because I personally think that I look pretty damn good for 212 pounds (that's right, I said it).

I've been bouncing around between 209 and 212 for months now and it's driving me crazy. I know this is all because I haven't been making the best food choices or at least I haven't consistently been making good food choices.

This morning I got on the scale hoping for a little budge, I had a good run yesterday and even though I had a crappy dinner I was looking for fractions of a pound. What I got was 198.6!?! My scale is sometimes possessed by ghosts of smaller people. I knew this was wrong but I'm not gonna lie, looking down at that number is a lot better than looking down at my real number.

I stepped off and let it zero out again before stepping back on to see that I lost .2 pounds. That was good enough for me but it got me thinking about being under 200 and I think it gave me a little extra push to keep losing.

So, I'm going to work extra hard this week to eat right and I'm going to work out everyday and see where I am next week. Hopefully I'll be closer to 198.6 than I am right now.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

A picture is worth ...30 words, tops.

Our dining room has French doors that face the East, sometimes this makes for an uncomfortable breakfast but on Monday it was perfect because at 7 am it looked like this.

Monday, December 14, 2009

NUH-tivity Scene

My husband isn't really into Christmas, never has been. I like to think this is because of his whore of a mother who could never get anything right, especially Christmas. Luis is pretty much the Grinch around here, questioning why we have to have a tree? or lights? or presents? Why am I telling you this, you ask? Well, it's to let you know the dude doesn't know much about the holiday.

So, our very first Christmas together I made a comment about a nativity scene I saw and he gave me this puzzled look.

Then a light went off, "NUH-tivity scene?" he said. "Well, that makes a lot more sense."

I looked at him in disbelief, "What did you think they were called?"

"I always thought they were called Activity scenes."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, I always wondered since they weren't very active."

Then I cracked up laughing.

He still calls them activity scenes just to be funny and always remarks how they should move or something since they are after all, activity scenes.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Fluffy McPooter

Another gem by

I insist that everyone start calling me by my porn name

Holiday Hilarity - The Nativity Scene

Somebody massacred poor baby Jesus.

Christmas and Crap Like That

Last night I went Christmas shopping. Originally, we weren't going to be able to have Christmas presents this year with Susie's surgery and all but we used our vacation fund to pay off most of the surgery. I'm really glad because even though I think there is way too much emphasis on presents at Christmas, I don't want our kids to think Santa has something against them.

So I was able to get both of the kids all their presents for $90. It's not going to be the best Christmas ever as far as presents go but I'm going to try to make it the best Christmas because we're going to be spending time together as a family. We're not going to my parents' house for once so Luis will be in a much better mood on Christmas. We'll probably spend most of the day playing games (of the board variety, not video) and if the weather is nice we'll play outside at the park. I can almost guarantee we'll be taking Susie for a walk to remind us how lucky we are that she is still with us. We'll bake cookies and candies and just enjoy each other's company.

What are your plans for Christmas?

Thursday, December 10, 2009

PSA: Smoking is bad, mmmm kay?

So, this is kind of a random post but I saw this woman on my way home from the mall this morning and she was smoking a cigarette in her car...with the windows up. Yuck! Now, I'm not going to act all self-righteous, I used to smoke for several years, but even then I would think smoking in a closed car is gross. How do you breathe? That got me thinking about when I used to smoke and why I even started smoking.

I'll admit, I was that stupid kid that wanted to fit in and smoked because the cute popular boy I liked smoked. I was 13 and there was a party I was invited to and I knew he would be there and he would be smoking. So, I stole a cigarette from my dad and went behind the garage one afternoon and "practiced" because I didn't want to cough and look like an idiot at the party. Yeah, I was that lame. Anyway, the boy payed no attention to me at the party or my mad smoking skills, so it was all for naught.

I don't get why smoking seems so cool to kids? It seems like now days kids are a little smarter about smoking, I don't know if parents are doing a better job or that our generation is more health conscious or that being "green" is the new cool thing? I'm glad that less kids are smoking though because that means less people are becoming addicted and that makes me really happy.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

J+A=BFFs Forever!!!!

One of the great things about my BFF is that even though we got into a HUGE (and I mean gigantor) fight and didn't speak for a long time, we're totally over it and I can send her super hilarious ecards like this one.

I promise I'll never hide my identity if I run a blog that calls you a skank

Just call me Flex Luther.

One of the great things about me losing weight is that it has inspired my husband to take better care of himself. It's cool because I never complained about my husband's weight, I didn't marry him for his looks (mind you, I do find him quite attractive, that's just not why I married him).

He's always enjoyed working out and lifting weights but when I started running he started really focusing on getting fit. A great by product to working out is bigger muscles and man, have his gotten bigger! He's always been strong but now he's cut and that is totally awesome for me because it's sexy as hell.

Of course, it's great motivation for me to stick with running because I want to look good when I stand next to him. We have a lot of fitness goals we want to meet this next year and it's really awesome that it's something we can work toward together.

Do you have any fitness goals this next year? Will your spouse or kids join you to meet your goal?

Monday, December 7, 2009

He he, she said Bratwurst.

There's this thing I do that drives my husband crazy and I'm not talking about that thing with my tongue, I'm talking about a different kind of crazy. Every night, when it's time for bed, I start talking about really pointless, unimportant things. Sometimes I do it on purpose because it annoys the crap out of him but usually I don't even realize I'm doing it.

I've always been one of those people that takes a long time to fall asleep, mostly because I can't stop thinking about things and usually it's not the stressful things going on in my life but rather stupid stuff that I have no idea why I'm thinking about it.

Sometimes my train of thought can be a little strange. Like last night, for example, my husband asked me to start reminding him to put his medicine on his face at night. His medicine looks like jizz, jizz reminds me of penises, penises remind me of bratwurst. Thinking of bratwurst made me wonder what exactly bratwurst is (because I don't eat it, I don't know), at which point my thoughts were interrupted by my husband saying, "Will you please just shut up and go to bed?"
I started laughing, he sighed, rolled over and tried to ignore me.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Guess Who Got Another Haircut?

Guess the other one wasn't drastic enough? I just needed something really different.

Friday, December 4, 2009


Music has saved me more than once, it has pulled me out of my rut and made me feel alive again.

The best gift is finding a new artist that moves you, that lifts your spirits or that makes you want to just dance, no matter where you are. I love finding the perfect album, the kind you turn on and listen straight through, without skipping a song. I have an album like that right now and it's helping me out of my funk.

If you like awesome music too then you should really get Owl City's album, Ocean Eyes. It's upbeat but not in a cheesy annoying way, just listen to it, it's great.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

There's Always Something

In my 27 years of existence I've finally learned something, there's always something. You see, I'm an eternal optimist and this was a little hard for me to grasp.

There are so many things I want to do, so many places to go, so much life to experience. When I was young I always wanted to make sure I had an exciting life, I didn't want a boring life like my parents. I think that's partly why I want to move to Colorado. Living in Houston like everyone else in my family is boring, I want to experience something different. It makes me sad when I think that my parents probably thought the same thing when they were younger, that a lot of people think that they want their lives to be exciting. Unfortunately, in a lot of cases life happens and the excitement never comes because there's always something. Things happen, we have responsibilities and our dreams and aspirations get put on the back burner.

I'm terrified that something will keep us from moving because life always seems to get in the way. We keep making plans and our plans keep getting thwarted by life. Life is a bitch...but I'm going to keep trying.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

My Favorite Part About Christmas

I love Christmas, it's my favorite holiday. I love lights and decorations everywhere, everything is more interesting when it's decorated. I LOVE Christmas trees, decorating the tree is the best. I love it because I love pretty, glass ornaments. Ever since I was little I've always wanted a tree full of glass ornaments, and not the balls either, I like the glass figurines.

I knew I would never be able to afford to buy a ton of them to cover my tree so instead every year I get each of us a new glass ornament. Picking out everyone's ornament has become my favorite part of Christmas. The kids love picking out their own ornament and there are so many different ones to choose from. Every year when I pick my ornament I think, this is my best one yet, and the next year I always end up topping the previous.

We haven't gotten our ornaments for this year yet but last night we decorated the tree and I love that my tree is so full of ornaments that I love, I can't even choose a favorite because there are so many. I love that our tree isn't just beautiful, each ornament has meaning and a story and that's why it's my favorite part because I'm making memories and keepsakes.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Mom says eat peanut butter fudge.

I'm taking time off from my melacholy blogging to post a recipe for my favorite holiday treat, Peanut Butter Fudge! Tara over at If Mom Says Ok is doing a recipe exchange for everyone's favorite holiday cookies and I had to give my recipe because it's so easy and delicious.

Peanut Butter Fudge

2 1/4 c sugar
2/3 c evaporated milk
1/2 c crunchy peanut butter
2 tbsp butter
1 tsp vanilla

Combine sugar and evaporated milk and bring to softball stage (boil for 3-4 minutes).
Remove from heat. Allow to cool for a few minutes and then add peanut butter, butter and then vanilla. Pour into a buttered 8x8 pan, let cool and then cut.

There you go, it's that easy. The hardest part is not eating the whole pan.

Monday, November 30, 2009

The Way We Were

Sometimes I like to look back, sometimes I NEED to look back, it's the only way to see how far I've come.

Sometimes I look back because I miss parts of me, I miss the carefree parts; back when I had no responsibilities, I had no idea what stress really was. My hard days were days that I had a big test or when someone broke up with me. I thought it was the end of the world but I had no idea. Sometimes I wish life could be that simple again.

I just keep thinking if life just gets harder I'm not sure I want to know what's in store for me. I think the only consolation is that although the hurt gets worse, the joy gets better.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Hard Times

Lately, my luck has been less than stellar, much, much less. At times like these I can't help but reflect on what I've done in my life to deserve it. One of the great things that comes with being raised Catholic is even when you renounce your faith, the guilt continues. Catholics very much believe in "an eye for an eye" and "what goes around, comes around." So of course, as a Catholic, when anything bad happens you feel you "deserved" it.

I try to lead a good life, I try to treat people the way I would like to be treated. Lately, I've even tried putting myself in other's shoes before I judge them or their actions. I'm trying to be more forgiving and thoughtful. I try to give more of myself, my time as well as what I have to offer. I'm trying really hard to be a better person.

When things happen like what has happened over the last 2 weeks in my house, I can't help but think, 'I'm not doing good enough.' I feel like I'm being punished for bad things I've done, I know that sounds ridiculous, if someone told me that I would tell them they are crazy, bad stuff happens sometimes, that's life. But I can't seem to shake the guilt, like I need to make amends and this is my penance.

I hope that renewing my vow to be a better person is enough to change my luck because all this bad crap is getting kind of old.

Friday, November 27, 2009


Yesterday wasn't our best Thanksgiving ever, I spent a lot of the day still worrying about Susie, how she was doing? If she was in pain? Would she make a full recovery? These things were all heavy on my mind.

Having Susie to worry about has really made my recovery pretty easy, I'm too preoccupied with other things to worry about myself. I did a light run the other day and had no pain at all, I guess I'm fine now. I still cramp occasionally but it's minimal so it doesn't really bother me.

With things starting to look up my daughter decided to fall at the playground yesterday and put her teeth through her bottom lip. So, we spent a few hours at the ER, luckily they opted to use Dermabond to close it up instead of having to stitch it. Luis was freaking out about a scar but it looked a lot better after they glued it up and she should outgrow the scar with no problems.

I'd really like to catch a break but I have feeling things are just going to keep on coming.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Don't Jinx It!

So, I'm not posting about Susie right now because I don't want to jinx anything, I will say she okay at this point. She did not have pancreatitis like they thought and I will leave it at that until she's better.

I've been staying pretty busy today, trying to keep my mind off of Susie. I have this really great thing I do when I'm worried, I clean everything in sight.

Things I've done today:
  1. Pulled everything off the kitchen counters and cleaned them.
  2. Cleaned all the nooks and crannies on my kitchen aid mixer.
  3. Changed everyone's sheets and washed and folded the dirty ones.
  4. Moved all the furniture around and vacuumed under everything.
  5. Washed every dish and article of clothing in our house.
  6. Mopped the floors.
  7. Baked homemade pumpkin bread.
  8. Cleaned all the bathrooms.
  9. Drank 12 cups of coffee.
  10. Picked up every rock I could find in my backyard.

So, pretty eventful day.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Another Vet Appointment

Last night was not a good night in our house. Susie hasn't eaten since Friday and on Saturday she stopped drinking. Much of yesterday was spent forcing sugar water down her throat, something she was very unhappy about.

When a dog stops eating and drinking and starts hiding under beds it's not a good sign. Last night I started losing hope. I called J in tears and told her not to expect Susie to pull through, she was showing signs of death and we needed to prepare for the worst.

I cried myself to sleep last night, Susie is the best dog! I know you're probably thinking that your dog is the best but you're wrong, Susie is THE BEST!!! She WAS the worst, and I thought about that last night, how she was an awful puppy and it brought a smile to my face. She chewed a hole in the middle of our wall one day, who does that? How do you decide one day to pick a spot in the middle of a WALL and just start chewing? She was crazy. She ate everything, shoes, toys, phones, pencils...crayons were her favorite.

These are the things I was thinking of last night and around 10:30 pm I sat up in bed and saw Susie standing in the hallway staring at me. I got up to give her some loving and she just leaned into me and snuggled my arm and I prayed that tomorrow would bring a miracle because I just can't imagine life without her.

This morning we made it into the vet and I was fully prepared for the worst, I knew we couldn't afford to spend hundreds of dollars on more tests to figure out what was wrong with her and then hundreds more to treat her. Luis and I decided we could afford another hundred or so and that was it. Since she still wasn't any better we knew that the possible pesticides on the grass wasn't the problem. Luckily, this time she was running a fever and that made it easier to diagnose her since we were able to rule out poisoning.

She got 4 shots today and was diagnosed with pancreatitus (I have no idea how to spell that), something that was discussed as a possibility earlier but she didn't have all the symptoms and so poisoning seemed more likely. When we got home she immediately drank some water and we're keeping our fingers crossed that she'll want to eat tonight. We have a follow up appointment in the morning to make sure we got it right this time and adjust any meds if need be.

We're not sure about the diagnosis at this point but we're hopeful. She seems to be doing better already and the fact that she's not hiding under a bed anymore makes me feel like she's going to make it.

That doesn't look like a sick dog to me.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Susie Darlin'

I really hope this crazy girl gets better soon because I'd pretty much be a wreck without her. She's still not doing so well so thoughts and prayers would be appreciated.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Yesterday I went to the hospital for my uterine ablation, things did not go as planned. It was a disastrous day to say the least.

When I woke up in recovery everything seemed fine, I wasn't in a lot of pain but then the nurse made sure to let me know like 50 times that I needed to talk to the doctor before I could leave. She just said something didn't go according to plan and he needed to talk to me about it.

Come to find out the device that does the ablation wouldn't work in my uterus and when they were trying to get it to work they ended up accidentally puncturing my uterus. They did tie my tubes which was kind of pointless because now I'm going to have to go back in January and have a hysterectomy.

As if that wasn't annoying enough, when we got home Susie had thrown up all over the house, like 8 piles of puke, it was awful. We had to go out and rent a carpet cleaner at 8 o'clock last night. Susie ate her dinner and everything seemed fine, we just thought she had an upset tummy.

This morning the kids were woken up by Susie puking in their rooms again, it was just water this time. She kept throwing up water and wasn't eating her food which is really strange for a lab so I took her into the vet right away.

We think she had toxins in her system because she eats grass and earlier this week the pest control people came out and sprayed. The spray was supposed to be animal friendly but it's still not supposed to be ingested.

So, now Susie is at the vet getting fluids, I got to clean the carpets again and I'm in desperate need of a nap. So much for taking it easy.

Monday, November 16, 2009

My Current Obsession

This is my new favorite group, Owl City. I am totally in love with this album, you might have heard their song Fireflies, it's totally rad and made me get the album on itunes. My favorite song on the whole album is Hello Seattle.

Listen to this, you can thank me later. It starts out kind of slow but it starts to get amazing around 1:25, this is the remix (it's my fave version).

Also, if you want to check out pics from my race on Saturday you can see them here.

Monday, November 9, 2009

The Elephant is Gone

For awhile here there has been an elephant in the room, a few people asked me about it but for the most part someone, a big part of my blog, just disappeared and neither of us addressed it publicly. It's been months, like 8, and now it's just normal for her not to be here.

Some of you may remember my best friend, J?

Well, in the interest of protecting both of our privacy I will keep it brief, we got into an epic fight, didn't speak at all for 4 months, spoke a little for 2 months and for the past month have finally made things right again. Things are not the same, not at all, but that is a good thing. We missed each other, we're good now and we're just really happy to be back in each other's lives.

So there, the elephant has left the room.

She's still my bestie so I might reference her on here, especially with Christmas coming up and us going out to see her and the family in Colorado (yay!!!!). I don't want things to be weird or have to field a million questions so I thought I would just put it out there, we un-broke up!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Hair Cut Pics!!!

Two pics of my new do and the last one is just because my daughter is adorable.

Back Home

I'm back, I actually got back around 1:30 am on Wednesday but yesterday was spent unpacking, grocery shopping and sleeping. Halloween was fantastic, my race was amazing (you can read about it here), trunk or treating with the kids was a blast, I got to meet my new nephew (adorable) and Luis and I got to party like adults (in which I passed out and came home at 10:00 the next morning).
This is a picture of me, some chick with huge boobs and my brother dressed as a sexy pirate.
And this is a picture of me passed out with my husband's santa costume covering me up.

This is Luis after I was passed out (notice the missing Santa jacket) and our friend Traci.

And this is Luis motorboating my brother's water balloons.
That's pretty much the good stuff from my weekend, I'm still trying to track down pics from my race but I'll probably post those at my other blog.

P.S. I'll be posting again later probably with pics of my new haircut because I am really not loving my hair right now.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The post about female parts.

Yesterday I went to the girly doctor (who happened to be a guy) and got some really great news. I've been on a quest to do something about my stupid period for awhile now. Without going into gross detail we'll just say my periods are longer and more frequent than most, it's annoying.

So, I was reading a magazine a couple of months ago and I found an article by my OB in Houston that delivered my kids and it was talking about a uterine ablation to deal with heavy periods. I made a mental note and decided next time I go to my regular doctor I would ask about it. Well, I went to my doctor, he put in a referral so I could ask a Gyno about it and yesterday was the day.

I had an exam, he showed me my uterus and stuff and showed me why I have the problem I do and informed that I am a great candidate for the procedure, yay!!! Basically, in a few weeks they're going to put me to sleep and boil my insides and hopefully I won't bleed anymore. My ovaries will still function and stuff so I'll still get emotional and break out in zits but no more days and days of bleeding.

I'm so excited right now, I may never have to buy tampons again...well, until Sophia starts...I really don't want to think about that.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Stop looking at my cookie.

Today I have a dreaded gyno appointment, it wouldn't be so bad but this is my first time to see this doctor and he's male. I don't have a problem with male doctors, actually some of my best doctors are male, but for some reason I always freak out and worry that they are going to be super hot. I think this is because my OB that delivered both of my kids was incredibly handsome and also somehow reminded me of my uncle which totally weirded me out.

Keep your fingers crossed for me that I get an ugly, old gyno.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Holy Eggs

This is one of the great things about living in the Bible Belt, even your eggs are religious.

The funny thing is I've been using this particular brand of eggs for a few months now and I just noticed this. I guess this makes them feel better about those poor aborted chickens in there.


On Friday I went to the doctor to get an adjustment for my band, I've been having trouble losing weight lately and thought tightening my band should help. Well, without getting all technical and stuff, my band is too tight now. I haven't been able to eat solids since Thursday, I'm starving here. I lost 5 pounds but this is NOT how I want to lose weight. I'm so weak from not eating that I can't run, I can barely even do the dishes.

I'm going in to my doctor in just a little bit and I'm having the fill taken out, I'd rather not lose weight and still be able to run than lose weight and not be able to anything. I can't wait to be able to take a sip of water and not have to wait 5 minutes for it to go down.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Musical Neighbors

We live on an Army base, that means neighbors come and go a lot! Right now, out of the 4 houses closest to us, 3 neighbors are moving. Sometimes it's really sad when a neighbor moves, you get to know them, you get to know their kids, their pets and it's just sad to see them go. Other times you are elated, they were crappy people and their moving day can't get here fast enough.

Yesterday I found out that one of our neighbors is moving and although I am kind of friends with this mom I'm super excited. The problem is that my kids and her kids have really taken to each other and her kids have some VERY bad habits. It's going to be hard on my kids at first but they'll meet new friends and all will be okay, hopefully this time though it will be friends that don't cuss and hit people and treat their siblings like garbage and ring our doorbell 80 times a day after we've already said Nicholas is not coming outside anymore.

So, on the one hand I'm happy these people are moving but on the other I'm sad for them. They aren't moving duty stations, they are being kicked out of the Army. It's their own fault so I'm not sad for the parents but I'm sad for the kids. They weren't planning on this and I know you are thinking, a lot of people lose their job and aren't planning on it, but these people are not only losing a job but their house as well. They have no back up (which is stupid on their part but whatever), they have 4 kids and are about to be homeless and the saddest part is that it's all happening next month, Christmas is going to suck for them.

I feel bad that I'm so glad about them moving because it's bad for their family but it's going to be good for my kids and they're my main concern. I wish the circumstances were different but they're not. I really hope they get their shit together and maybe this move will turn into something good for them. I also really hope that one of these 3 empty houses will get occupied by some kick ass neighbors, as of right now there is only us and one other couple on our street that kick ass, we need company.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The calm before the storm.

Right now things are really boring here, I know I always complain about how boring Oklahoma is but nothing is happening right now and I mean NOTHING! In this case it's kind of a good thing, pretty soon life is going to get really hectic.

Luis is about to get the ball rolling on some pretty serious stuff with his career, things that could completely change the course of our lives. We've had a plan since we got married about what we wanted to do, where we wanted to go in life and what we wanted to achieve. When Luis got cancer it threw everything out the window, we had to make a new plan but now we're starting to take scraps of that old plan and piece them together again.

We're taking chances with our way of life and that scares the crap out of me but we can't continue the way things are now, we hate it here and to potentially be stuck here for 10 more years makes us both contemplate suicide (that's a joke, we are not suicidal).

Our fingers are crossed that everything is going to work out the way we want it to but there are no guarantees. It feels nice though to finally be doing something about it rather than just complaining, I have a feeling though that everything is going to work out just fine and I really hope I'm right.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Ferrero Rocher, thy name is devil candy.

When I was in college I had a Russian roommate that loved to eat all kinds of weird things :pate, caviar, lox and cream cheese bagels, just weird stuff to a normal American teenager that refused to even eat onions.

One day she brought home some Ferrero Rocher chocolates and I thought, finally, something we can actually eat together. But I didn't know it was hazelnut chocolate, I HATE hazelnuts!!! I tried one and spit it out saying it was the worst thing to happen to chocolate....ever!

For my birthday that year, I'm not sure why, she decided to get me a big box of Ferrero Rochers. When I reminded her that I hated them she said, "Oh, I forgot, I guess I'll just eat them." How nice of her.

That was years ago but a couple of weeks back I decided that I wanted some chocolates, good chocolate too not waxy Hershey's or anything but I didn't want to spend a ton of money on Godiva's either. I saw that Ferrero now makes Rondoir chocolates and that is pretty much just chocolate, they also make Garden coconut candies; I wanted to try them both but I didn't want to have to get a big box of both so instead I bought a variety pack. The problem with this was that it had the Rochers in it also and I hate Rocher, remember?

I figured, to hell with it, I would buy the pack anyway and I could just give the Rochers to someone. Before I could give them away though I decided to try them one more time, OMG!!! These are soooooooo good! So good that the next time I bought a box of just the Rochers, you heard me right, I bought another box. In fact, I bought another one after that too.

I don't know how I'm supposed to lose weight with these things existing, they are seriously my new favorite candy. I can't believe I used to hate these, what was wrong with me? They really are devil candy, I can't stop thinking about them. I kind of wish I had never tried them again and just went along thinking they were crap, instead I entered the sweepstakes to win a case of them here. You should too, these suckers are hella good!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Twice in one day!

I told you that I was going to be dying my hair blonde for Halloween, well, I knew it would probably take more than one go round to get my hair as blonde as I want it but here is the first stage. I hate it, I think the color is a little too close to the color of my skin but I have to wait a few weeks to give my hair a break before I go lighter. It really resembles straw right now, in color and texture.

Kid Radar

What is it about kids that makes them know the exact wrong moment to do anything? Luis and I call it kid radar. As soon as we think maybe we could get in an afternoon quickie? it's like all of a sudden they are knocking on the door asking us to change the channel or if they can have a snack. Basically, they could leave us alone for hours when we aren't doing a thing but the second we start to get amorous they become the neediest kids on the planet.

Last night kid radar worked a little differently but it was still just as annoying. It was 9:30 pm and I was laying down thinking I'm finally going to get a decent amount of sleep, I'll be so rested in the morning. Sophia's radar kicked in and she decided to wake up eleven billion times last night. The most annoying part was that she was screaming bloody murder and when I got in her room and asked her what was wrong, she said, "I just really wanted to give you a hug." Seriously? It's 1:30 in the freaking morning!

After the fifth time she woke up requesting something stupid I brought her in my room and laid her on the floor. She still kept waking up but at least I didn't have to get out of bed to deal with her. So, basically this morning I'm exhausted and may very well end up taking a nap today which will screw up my sleep schedule for the rest of the week. Yay kids!!!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Dress Rehearsal

Halloween is around the corner and this year I decided to be a pin up girl, the problem with this is if you don't get the hair right you're just going to look like a moron. So, today I did my first trial run of a hairstyle I found online. This is my version of victory curls.
Of course, taking the pictures myself made it pretty damn impossible to get a good view of the actual curls. I did a side ponytail with a red flower to add to it but I haven't decided if that's going to be my final 'do.
And of course, I have to show a pic of my shoes that gave me the whole idea of being a pin up girl. Have I mentioned that I heart Michael Kors...because I do!

So, I'm pretty sure before Halloween I'm going to dye my hair platinum blonde. I know most pin ups had brown hair but I never do anything by the book. I'll be sure to post pics on Halloween.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Sickos....and stuff.

Nicholas was sick all weekend, which totally sucked ass, and my mom was freaking out calling me every 5 minutes checking on him because she was convinced he had swine flu. He woke up Friday morning with 102 fever and basically laid in bed and ate Tylenol like candy until Sunday when he miraculously had 98.6....out of nowhere.

He was really upset that he missed his race on Saturday but he's got another one coming up on Halloween so I told him he's be alright. I did make it to my run on Saturday but I was extremely sleep deprived, you can read about it here if you want.

Due to Nicholas' illness we missed out on a get together at my neighbors place which kinda sucked. So, instead we watched recorded tv and played Halo all weekend, we're losers! Being a girl playing Halo online is always fun because I get to hear all kinds of fucked up things from people. Here are a few:

Random player: "Dude, you sound like a fag."
Me: "Hey idiot, I'm a girl."

Random player: "You're a chick? Are you hot?"
Me: "Yeah, I look like a porn star and I actually play Halo in the nude."

Random player: "Hey *AllieApple, what's your name?"
Me: "Susan."
*AllieApple is my gamer tag.

Random player: "Hey Allie, are you hot?"
Me: "No, I weigh 500 pounds and have a beard."

Random player: "Allie, you're mopping the floor with these guys."
Me: "Of course, I'm a girl, next I'm going to do the dishes."

Friday, October 2, 2009

Short post about pants.

True story that only pertains to me: I'm wearing my husband's jeans today. Why? Because I can!

Also, I'm only 10 pounds away from my goal so I decided to add 15 pounds to it, 25 pounds to go!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009


I like to push myself, I love to improve and so I signed up for a 10K on Halloween. I could have done the 5K, my friend probably would have preferred me to do the 5K so I could run with her, but I wanted a challenge. I'm not going to be able to do the half marathon in November now so I kind of went off my rigorous running schedule and I needed some motivation to get back on it. A 10K is the perfect motivation for me.

I'm really excited about this Halloween run because you dress up for it and I already love people watching during a race so this is going to be awesome. I made my costume, I'm going to be a ballerina witch. Basically, a tutu seemed like a perfect costume because it wouldn't be restrictive but I decided to go with Halloween colors. I'm still not sure how I'm going to wear a hat and run but I'm sure I'll figure it out. Here is a crappy picture of my costume so far.

So, I've been working really hard to get ready for my longest run ever and I was looking for more races in my area when I stumbled upon a race this weekend. I sort of knew about the race because Nicholas was doing it but I thought it was just a kids race. Well, yesterday I found out that there are going to be 3 different 5K's, a 10K, a half marathon, and a marathon in addition to the kids race. Jackpot!
One of the 5K's really caught my attention though because I had never seen a race like it (I'm still new to this so maybe there are a lot of these, I don't know), it's a run up Mt. Scott (supposedly, the highest elevation in Oklahoma). I've seen a lot about doing hill climbs and how it's really good for training but I personally have never done a hill climb. So, of course, I signed's on Saturday! I'm pretty terrified but I'm sure I'll push myself and finish, possibly last, but I'll finish just the same.
Now I have this mix of excitement and terror going on and I just want it to be Sunday so it'll be over. I'm actually more scared of this hill climb than the 10K, probably because the 10K is in Houston so it's guaranteed to be flat. I can't wait!

Monday, September 28, 2009

The Truth Hurts

Sometimes I feel bad for hating my mom 90% of the time.

Well, hate is a strong word, I don't hate her, in fact, I love her. She just annoys the shit out of me because she can't handle the truth. In the last year or so I've done a lot of self-reflection and I made a conscious decision to be more honest. Telling white lies is one of my mother's more annoying qualities that I had picked up and it was starting to take a toll on my relationships.

Being honest with people is hard. I'm not talking about telling someone that, "yes, those pants look like crap on you" but telling people how you feel about them can be difficult. One of the hardest things for me is to make myself vulnerable and tell people that they hurt me. I definitely think honesty in a friendship is a good thing (even if it has backfired on me and I lost a good friend) and I'm trying to me more honest with my mother.

Like I said before though, my mom can't handle the truth. My mom thinks she is perfect, I know this because I used to be just like her and I thought I was a genuinely good person, I was wrong. I'm not saying I was evil or anything or even that my mother is evil but we are not genuinely good people. We are selfish people, it takes a great deal of focus for me not to be the most selfish person I know.

My mother is also very, very melodramatic. She loves to be the victim, she loves the attention she gets from it so it's very hard to give her constructive criticism because she likes to take it as though you are attacking her and all she was doing was trying to save orphans or something like that.

So, I've been working with her very slowly, only giving her a little honesty at a time and it's been working pretty well...until yesterday. My brother decided to give her a big dose of honesty and now she's playing the victim. All my hard work is out the window and the sad part is that the only person it's going to hurt is her.

I really hope she is able to make some progress before she loses all her friends, I want her to be happy again, I want her to be someone I can trust but the truth is, she'll do anything for attention and that includes throwing her daughter under the bus. I'm worried that real soon we're going to reach the point that we can't go back and the damage will be irreversible and that makes me sad for her and for me.

Monday, September 21, 2009

A camping we will go.

On a whim, we decided to go camping on Saturday, it was a beautiful day and we had nothing better to do. We had been meaning to go camping at the Wichita Mountains for some time but we always ended up only going for the day to hike. We had never been to the camping area so we didn't really know what to expect but when we pulled up we saw deer standing right next to some of the tents, they seemed really curious because they stuck around to see what we were doing. They also came back about 10 more times.

Because the "mountains" (they're really more like a stack of rocks) are only like 15 miles from our house we'll probably be going back there real soon. I don't think any of us expected to have such a good time.

As soon as we got camp set up we set out on a hike to look for firewood, much to our dismay all the good stuff had already been gathered so I took off in the car to get some from this weirdo flea market-looking place just outside the wildlife refuge. Seriously, they should film a horror movie in this place, it was creepy.

We had a relaxing evening by the fire where Luis couldn't think of a single ghost story to scare the kids with (thank God) and instead we roasted marshmallows and stuffed ourselves with smores. That night it was freezing, I brought us each a sheet and heavy blanket but it was still too cold. Luis loved it because I ended up cuddling with him all night just to try to thaw out.

We got up the next morning way too early (aka 6am), made another fire and roasted marshmallows again (after breakfast of course). We cleaned up camp and headed out on another hike. It was a beautiful morning, the weather was perfect and sun was starting to break through the clouds. We took off up the mountain and that was when we discovered the mountain was infested with millipedes.

We climbed up the tallest stack of rocks we could find and then we took stupid pictures.

In the pictures it doesn't look like we are up that high but really we're up there. It was actually quite interesting climbing rocks with dogs. I was really worried Pucca would have a hard time and I would end up carrying her most of the time but there were only 2 times I had to lift her and she probably would have made it on her own if I had let her try. She was by far the funniest thing out there, she would climb up a rock and stand there like she was a super hero afterward. She loved hiking and every time someone would pass us on the trail they would laugh at her, you could tell she was so proud of herself, it was adorable.

Poor Susie hasn't been this active in years, she mostly lays around the house resembling Eeyore but she had a great time too. I was worried the dogs were going to be a pain but they ended up being a great addition and I was really glad they were there.

After the hike on Sunday morning we came back to camp to get packed up. While we were packing the stuff the kids were playing on these big rocks, Sophia was on top of one (she called it her mermaid rock) Nicholas very casually said, "Sophia, look, a big spider." At that point Sophia let out loudest, most blood-curdling scream I've ever heard from her. When I ran over it was a giant freakin' tarantula! At this point other campers are coming over to see what the scream was about and then inspect the wicked, cool tarantula. After everyone got to see it Luis threw a rock at it....and missed, so I stepped on it. It was disgusting! Luis absolutely hates bugs so he insisted on covering it with a rock so we could forget about it and continue packing up.

It was a great weekend, next time we'll probably stay 2 nights and we'll also figure out some kind of solution to the tick problem they have out there. When we got home we all had at least one tick on us and poor Nicholas had two....with one on his boy parts. Of course, the one on his boy parts didn't come out all the way and we had to take him to the ER last night to get it all out so, other than that it was a perfect weekend.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Break time.

I've been really busy lately doing stupid things that don't really seem like they should keep you busy. I mean, if you asked what I was doing I would probably say, "Nothing" and yet I don't have much down time. It seems since I moved back my day to day life has gotten more tedious. I don't know if this is because I actually have friends here now or what but I just don't seem to have time to blog. I'm not necessarily taking a break (like my title suggests) but I'm just not going to be blogging as often, some weeks I might not blog at all. I guess I'm just going to wait till I have something to actually say rather than ramble on about nothing in particular.

So, if I'm not on here for a long period of time, don't worry, I'm not laying in a ditch somewhere bleeding to death I'm just not witty enough to come up with something to write about....a more likely scenario is that a zombie ate my brain.

Monday, September 14, 2009

I know it's been awhile since I've blogged but I've been really busy with mindless menial tasks around the house, now I'm sick so life sucks. I can't really think much less think of something even remotely funny to say so instead I will say nothing at all...well, minus what I'm saying now which is that I'm not saying anything....yeah.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Wiener or Cock??

This is a game my husband and I play. I know it sounds weird but it's fun. It's pretty self-explanatory: you see someone and you decided if he has a baby wiener or a big cock? I pretty much do the guessing and my husband laughs at my response and my reasons for choosing one or the other.

So, the other day we were playing 'Wiener or Cock?' and I was guessing about one of his friends and do you know what he did? He texts his friend and tells him "Dude, my wife thinks you have a little baby wiener." Can you believe that?

Rule #1: You do not talk about 'Wiener or Cock?'.

Friday, September 4, 2009

...but it feels like 10.

Tomorrow marks the day, 7 years ago, that Luis and I got married. Like everyday since then it was a difficult day with a few obstacles but we made it. We didn't have a wedding, we didn't have time, a war was breaking out and we knew he would be headed to Iraq soon.

Our engagement was quick, we had only been dating for 5 months but we knew right away we would end up marrying each other. I believe I told my mom he was "the one" on New Year's eve, she was a little shocked. I had always said I didn't want to get married so to proclaim that I was going to marry him was unexpected. I was young too, only 20, way to young to be settling down.

We didn't care what people thought, he surprised me with a ring I had fallen in love with awhile back and when I got home from vacation he got down on one knee and slipped it on my finger. We were ecstatic!

We lived 3 hours away from each other so seeing each other was hard and with his upcoming deployment we had even less time together. We decided getting married sooner rather than later was better, we didn't know what to expect with the war so we wanted to make the most of the time we had left before he headed to Iraq.

We settled on September 5th, I'm not really sure why, it probably had something to do with my dad's schedule, he almost didn't make it. My dad was late getting away from work and we almost left without him. My parents drove me to Fort Hood where we had an appointment with the judge to be married. It was an awkward drive, like my parents were dropping me off at the movies or something.

We made it to Luis' barracks room, got changed into something nice (not white) and then we headed to the courthouse. On our way there I was so excited that I completely ran a stop light and almost got us killed, after some yelling we made it inside. We went to pick up our license and I couldn't find my ID, I had left it in Luis' room and to make it even more complicated, I couldn't go get it because you needed your ID to get on post. After some more yelling Luis got in the car to pick up my ID and then we headed in to get married.

Like most serious situations in my life, I couldn't stop laughing and for once in his life Luis couldn't stop laughing either, we were both so happy. After all the crap that day we were finally standing in front of a judge (a weird looking one but a judge nonetheless) and we were getting married. It was a memorable day and although it wasn't a big wedding and I didn't wear a white dress I still wouldn't change a thing.

So, here we are 7 years later, still married, I still get distracted and run stop lights and I still forget my ID (although it has been awhile) and surprise,surprise, we still yell and we still get excited and can't stop laughing and the most important thing: we still love each other.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

What to do, what to do?

I've kind of stopped losing weight since I moved back here and I'm not entirely sure why. I'm pretty much eating the same and I'm still running around 10 miles a week. Apparently, I burned more calories than I thought standing at the bank?

Well, one of my neighbors stopped me yesterday and asked about being my running partner. The thing is, I could really use a running partner and I'm not exactly swimming in friends here but she is one of the neighbors that was really flaky before I moved. We actually had plans to do dinner at my place one Friday night and she just never showed up, nor did she ever talk about it. I guess she completely forgot?

I'm also a little wary because she is good friends with another neighbor and when they get together they like to act like their shit doesn't stink and that just really ticks me off because we all know if anyone's shit doesn't stink it's mine. Seriously though, they've never been mean to me but I've heard from a lot of the other women on the street that they can be a little rude.

Basically, I would love a running partner and another friend but I don't want any drama and I'm a little worried she carries drama with her where ever she goes. Sometimes the neighborhood wives can be a little like high school.

So, what do you think? Should I pursue this friendship?

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

I hate that bitch, Mother Nature!

I hate bleeding once a month, it's bullshit! As if bleeding isn't bad enough, my hormones go all crazy on me. I hate, hate, hate my period!

I don't want anymore kids, two is enough, two is all we can afford so now my period seems like a total waste to me. I don't give a crap about my fertility, I just want to be done with this crap.

Every month I seem to get into a stupid fight with my husband due to my period, yesterday morning he was trying to help me and I got all overly sensitive and freaked out on him. Of course, he got pissed because he was trying to be helpful and I bitched at him but I wish he could understand. It must be so annoying for guys because they really have no clue how we are feeling or what we go through.

I don't understand why guys don't get emotional like we do, it seems really unfair and when things aren't fair I pout like a baby.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Okay, I haven't talked about this much on here but I'm addicted to tanning. When I moved the first thing I did was find another tanning place to go to, it had been two weeks since I tanned and I was starting to feel pale.

The tanning spa here rocks! It is so much cheaper and you get soooooo much more with your membership. Anyway, here I get unlimited spray tanning as well as the beds that, I know, really aren't that good for you (and by that I mean not good at all).

So, yesterday I decided to try a spray tan, if I alternate between the beds and spray tanning it would lessen my exposure to UV which is always a plus, right? The only thing with spray tanning is it's a totally different kind of tan. I don't know if I'm being overly sensitive but do I look a little orange to you?

I probably should have put on a white shirt for this picture instead of hot pink, it would have been a little easier to tell. Luis said my hair color clashes with my skin now, if I dye it green maybe Willy Wonka will hire me?

Friday, August 28, 2009

Problems in the Bedroom

When I was in Houston I got a tempurpedic mattress because I have back problems and everyone told me that tempurpedic mattresses are the best if you have a bad back. BTW, they are the best and if you ever buy one and they offer you a discount on the pillows and your husband says, "No, don't get me one, that is way too much money for a pillow that probably isn't that great anyway." Don't listen to him, get him one anyway because after a week he will be trying to steal yours and then you are forced to pay full price and full price just makes me mad when I know I could have gotten half price.

Anywho, we didn't have to buy a frame right away because my mom had one for me to use while I lived there. Well, we expected to live there a lot longer than we actually did so I was putting off getting a frame since it would just sit in a box in the garage until I moved with the king-size mattress.

I'm back now and we ordered a frame online since it's a little difficult to find a platform bed like we need. Yesterday our bed arrived via UPS and we were super excited about getting it together so we didn't have to sleep on the ground anymore...I even twittered about how excited I was about getting the bed together.

Well, we got everything ready, moved the mattress out of the way and started to assemble. "That's funny, it seems like there should be more hardware here." Hmmmmm. We start searching through all the cardboard and bags, maybe we misplaced the other bag of hardware? After looking through every scrap we decided that the bag was not in the box like it was supposed to be so now, not only are we still sleeping on the ground, but we also have large pieces of metal all over our bedroom that belong to one king-sized bed frame sans hardware.

I. Am. Thoroughly. Annoyed.

We contacted "The O" and they are working on getting us our hardware "as quickly as possible" and you know, they "appreciate our patience" but I really just want to wake up, sit up and step out of bed. This sleeping on the floor shit, even if it is on a tempurpedic mattress, is really not helping my back problems.

Thursday, August 27, 2009, we locked him in a closet with spiders.

Thanks for all the advice yesterday, we ended up having Nicholas write lines and a note to his teacher apologizing for not doing what he was told and letting her know that he will do better in the future.

We opted not to spank on this one because Nicholas is getting to the point where he tells us it didn't hurt, even if I know it did, and then I'm left trying to hurt him when I spank him and that isn't right. So, I wanted to make sure he took this very seriously and writing lines is so boring that makes it pretty much awful for him and it helps with his writing so it's a win, win for me.

His behavior has been pretty bad lately but I know we'll get it under control again. I have a super nanny book that I got a long time ago (like before Sophia was around) and I might bust that out again and read through it. He is definitely in need of some tough love right now and no one does tough love like super nanny. I might need to get some glasses and develop a British accent though for the full effect.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Bad little kids

Yesterday was Nicholas' third day of kindergarten, he came off the bus, walked home and told me he had a good day at school. I've been holding my breath when he gets home and I ask how school went. Ever since we moved to Houston Nicholas has been having some behavior issues. I'm sure it has to do with the move and me going to work all of a sudden and of course it has a lot to do with the fact that his grandmother let him do whatever the hell he wanted.

I've been bracing myself for an issue to arise at school, I know he's not perfect but right now he's awfully close to "spawn of Satan." So, I was happy to hear he had another good day yesterday....until this morning when I got a phone call from his teacher.

Apparently, there was a incident yesterday and Nicholas was sent home with a note for me to sign. I know I'm not "mom of the year" or anything but I always check his backpack for notes or work that he's supposed to do at home and yesterday there was nothing there, just an empty lunch kit. She went on to tell me that Nicholas had something he needed to tell me.

Nicholas got on the line and told me that he tore up the note on the bus ride home because he didn't want to get in trouble. At this point, I'm furious! Not only did he not give me the note he was supposed to give but he also lied to my face that he had a good day.

I have until 4:00 pm to come up with a good punishment, any suggestions?

Saturday, August 22, 2009

I'm not dead and stuff.

It's been awhile, sorry about that.

My trip back to Oklahoma was disastrous, there were problems from the get go and it only got worse as we made our way north. On a good note: my boss let me leave early so that really helped me out because the trip would have been 10 times worse if it had happened an hour later.

Getting out of Houston was rough, there was traffic and accidents and then the rain, the rain really sucked. It rained, no, it poured on and off the whole way up. I guess God wanted to give me a heart attack for 9 hours straight since my ridiculously expensive mattress was on the back of an open trailer. Luckily I was smart enough to invest in TWO mattress bags from U-Haul, just in case the first one wasn't good enough (FYI: it wasn't good enough, thank God I did two).

The stupid Rubbermaid bins I put my stuff in were crap, the lids wouldn't stay on so we had to wrap them shut with this saran wrap stuff. Even though we tied the whole load down with ratchet straps shit still came loose and when I got home I found an inch of water in the bottom of the bin that had my shoes. My Stewart Weizman boots were sitting in an inch of water and that made me cry.

The drawer came loose on one of the dressers and we lost a pair of little girls underwear but we realized it right away and that was the only casualty from that. I know this much, I am not moving again! I mean, when we move duty stations again I am totally going to make the Army move us (even though they broke a ton of our shit last time) because I do not want to go through that ever again.

Anyway, we ended up getting in around 1am and then we had to unload the trailer. We finally got to bed around 3am but not before realizing that for some reason the battery was dead on my mom's Tahoe. While Luis was at work the next morning I got to unpack boxes and change the battery on my mom's car. Luis came home for lunch and then I got to register Nicholas for school (the only thing that went smoothly by the way) and then head home again to unpack some more.

By the end of the day everything was unpacked, the neighbors kids had already caught wind of us being back and then kids were happily playing at the park while I cooked a delicious dinner with my hubby. Despite being dead-ass tired I was ecstatic to be home and falling right back into our routines.

So, everything worked out, I'm home, the kids are doing great, my husband is doing great, I'm doing great and for once I'm glad to be in Oklahoma....but I'm sure I'll hate it again next week.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Tonight I'm going to meet a really good friend of mine. Our senior year we had 2 classes together and apparently, I used to crack him up. I was kind of silly in high school, kind of like I am now only awkward and I didn't know how cool I was.

The last time I saw him was at our graduation, that was a looooong time ago. We met up on myspace about 4 years ago, exchanged numbers and email and we've been talking ever since. We talk often and I consider him a really good friend but we have never been able to meet up when I was in town.

When I moved to Houston he was excited that we could finally find the time to get together but things just never worked out. Well, now I'm leaving on Tuesday and lord knows when I'll come back and when I do I'll probably have lots of things planned so getting together would be difficult. So, we basically decided it was now or never.

I'm really excited to see him finally.Tonight should be a lot of fun.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

To censor or not to censor?

As many of you know, I'm a pretty straightforward person. I say what I'm thinking and sometimes even get myself in trouble because of it. I don't really have much of a filter...maybe a teeny tiny one that has huge gaping holes in it?

I have absolutely no problem with cursing, my most commonly used adjective is freakin' or some variation (see fucking). I talk about sex...a lot. I ask questions that most people would think are offensive and none of my business. I almost always give too much information. These are just some of my "lovable" traits.

Today a friend of mine sent me a message on facebook that was a comment to an ecard that I sent my husband. She sent me the message directly because she didn't want to offend anyone on my page or embarrass me. Some people would find this thoughtful but I think it's hilarious because the ecard I sent was this:

You've officially earned access to every orifice

BTW: If you have never checked out Someecards then you really should, they are so funny. You can follow them on twitter too, I do. There is a funny card out there for any occasion.
Note: If you are easily offended I no longer recommend it.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The post where I talk about my vag.

So, today was my waxing appointment. I've never had a bikini wax, ever. I've waxed my legs, eyebrows, upper lip, all the typical women waxing places but never down there. To say I was terrified was an understatement.

The funny part is that just a few months ago I got pierced down there and I wasn't even close to as scared as I was about this. Getting pierced hurts but only for a second, this is long, drawn out pain and typically, I am not down with that.

When I got to the shop the esthetician was super nice and made me feel really comfortable. I think in order to do that job you have to have mad people skills and luckily, she did. She explained everything to me about what was going to happen, the positions I would need to be in for different parts, the types of wax she would use, the parts that tend to hurt the worst. She was awesome!

It started out easy enough and that helped me get comfortable. Before I knew it we were chatting like girlfriends while she ripped my hair out. I'm not going to lie, there were parts that hurt like hell but for the most part it wasn't bad. I'd definitely say getting my legs waxed is way, way worse.

So, any of you there looking to take the leap, I say go for it but go to someone that specializes in waxing, not your local nail salon. The key is the hard wax, it doesn't stick to your skin, only the hair, so your skin doesn't get all inflamed from ripping the wax off.

I'm very happy with the results and will definitely be making this part of my normal routine.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

The Brazilian

At 10:30 a.m. tomorrow I have an appointment.

I. am. Terrified.

I'm getting my very first Brazilian wax!


I'll be sure to let you know who is right, everyone I've ever heard talk about a Brazilian or the esthetician I made my appointment with that said I will be surprised at how little it actually hurts.

We shall see.

Facing the music.

One of the few things that really sucks about moving is that I had started making plans as far in advance as October.

I'm really bummed that I'm going to miss a few different races I was wanting to do.

I'm super bummed that I'm not going to get to go out with a coworker of mine for her birthday, the party is going to be off the hook (I don't ever use that phrase but seriously, there are no other words).

I'm super duper mega bummed that I'm going to miss the Kings of Leon concert that I was going to go to with my cousin, I am so in love with Kings of Leon. I run all the time to their Only the Night album even though it's not really that kind of music, it really gets me pumped up because I love it that much.

We're still going to try to come in town for Halloween because there is our friend's annual Halloween party and a really awesome 5k that you dress up for on that Saturday and Luis and I both really want to make it. Other than that though, I don't think I'll be coming back to Houston for awhile.

We're saving up to go to Colorado at Christmas and that is our number one priority now, so I guess that will make up for all the cool stuff I'm going to miss by not living in Houston anymore.....oh yeah, and I get to have sex whenever I want!

Monday, August 10, 2009

Friendship is complicated.

I have this friend from high school, we got reconnected on Facebook and we've hung out several times since I moved to Houston. When I found her on FB I had forgotten why we lost touch, she is so funny and we had so many great stories from high school, it was just silly that we stopped talking.

After hanging out with her a few times I remembered why I stopped hanging out with her, she's a huge pain in the ass! She complains about everything, seriously, everything! Nothing is simple with her, and frankly, it's exhausting being around her.

So, I've been avoiding saying much about my upcoming move on Facebook because I don't want her to insist we get together before I go. She doesn't have a car so I would have to pick her up and then she's try to sucker me into paying for her, you can see why I'm not excited about hanging out with her?

Today she finally caught wind of what's going on and she suggested we meet up but I bullshitted about being too busy packing and that I would try but I couldn't make any promises. I know it's shitty of me but I have to much on my plate right now to deal with a needy friend that doesn't do anything for me.

....and she talked shit about my iPhone today on FB, can you believe that? She's definitely on my shit list now. :)

Friday, August 7, 2009







Thursday, August 6, 2009

So, I'm not a photographer, I get that.

A little over 8 years ago I wore this dress to my brother's wedding. Right around 7 years ago I got married and gained so much weight I couldn't even dream of wearing that dress again. Seriously, I tried it on one day and I couldn't even get the skirt over my thighs.

On Tuesday I saw my sister-in-law and she paid me a very nice compliment saying, "You are the thinnest I've ever seen you." I promptly replied, "No way, I don't even fit in the dress I wore to your wedding so I had to have been thinner then." Well, today I started packing my things to go back to Oklahoma and I was trying on clothes so I don't have to cart more shit than I need back.

At the back of the closet was the bridesmaid dress along with 2 other dresses from around the same time. First I tried on one of the other dresses, I was too scared to try on the bridesmaid dress. When my mom zipped it I was amazed! I had no idea I had gotten that small, I mean, I know how many pounds I've lost but that doesn't always make sense with my size.

After being reassured with the other dress I put on the bridesmaid dress and quickly emailed a picture of me in it to my sister-in-law. Just one more size and I'll be the size I was in high school, anything smaller than that is just icing on the cake (the cake that I won't eat).

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Moving right along...

So, I put in my two weeks notice, I've cancelled school for Nicholas, I cancelled my tanning membership and informed most of my friends of my impending doom, I mean move back to Oklahoma. I'm trying to make the most of it this time around and Luis and I have been making lots of plans.

We plan on cooking together, sharing more of the household chores, running as a family, going camping on weekends, stuff like that. I'm really kind of excited to get back there, I mean, I still hate Oklahoma but I think this time I have a better understanding of what I'm getting into and that makes me feel better.

Tonight I started looking up races in the area so I can set a goal so I won't slack on my running during the move and I found the coolest thing. There is a 10K on September 5th in Fort Sill! The only problem with that is the 5th is our 7 year wedding anniversary and the race is for the Marine Corps detachment at Fort Sill. Luis doesn't care that it's our anniversary, he just doesn't want to be seen in public with me in a Marine Corps shirt.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

It was great while it lasted.

This morning, after much contemplation, I came to the decision to move back to Oklahoma.

I've been thinking about it for awhile now and this morning, between the hours of 12:30 and 6:30, while I was cleaning up vomit from my daughter, I had my moment of clarity. I was miserable in Oklahoma before I moved to Houston, but now my husband is miserable.

A lot has changed since I was in Oklahoma and so I want to give it another shot. I miss having my hubby around and having someone to back me up, the kids miss their daddy and they desperately need his structure, hell, I need his structure.

I always knew that me living in Houston wasn't permanent and so I've been prepared all along to have to say goodbye but something that really took me by surprise was how hard it was to tell my coworkers about me leaving. I never expected to find real friends at work and today when I went in to let them know I was submitting my two weeks notice I started crying, like really crying. I'm going to miss them all so much.

I'm sad about having to leave work but other than that I'm really excited about giving Oklahoma another try. I really want to feel at home again, to have my own space, I'm looking forward spending an evening at home with my whole family again, my own rules, it's going to be great.

I'll definitely look at things differently this time around, I'm not going to take things for granted that I used to, like when my husband annoys me I'm going to stop and think, it could always be worse, my mom could be annoying me instead.

I'm up for anything.

On Sunday my hubby called and woke me up from my nap (he's my alarm clock, isn't that sweet?), I answered the phone and this great idea just hit me like a ton of bricks. If I get approved for my vacation time in December, why don't we take the kids to Colorado?

We're going to need a break from my family, especially right after Christmas, and we haven't taken a family road trip before. The kids will freak out about getting to go sledding and we'll get to go check out some neighborhoods while we're there for house-hunting purposes. It's perfect!

The only problem now is that I am so excited about it I don't know how I'm going to make it till December. I'm already looking at routes to take, places to go, things to do. I'm starting to put money away already in my extra account and I'm doing things like taking my lunch to work to save money for our trip (which is totally unlike me), that's how freakin' excited I am!!!

Yay for white Christmases.....well, a few days after Christmas.

Monday, August 3, 2009

The times they are a-changin'.

I've hit a plateau in my weight loss. I hit one before and running pushed me through it but this time it's different. I'm running about 10 miles a week now, I shouldn't be hitting a plateau!

I've decided to start adding some weight training in there to switch things up a bit. I'm getting impatient now, I have 20 pounds to go, technically 17 and its so close yet so far. This week I'm really going to be strict about everything I put in my mouth and I'm going to make sure I work out at least 5 days. If my results are good enough then I'll stick with it till these last pounds are gone.

It's that time of the month so I feel bloated and fat and I really hate that. I really want to feel great again and for some reason I just don't feel that right now. Wish me luck this week, we'll see how successful I can be.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Houston, I'm so over you.

Okay, I still love Houston, it will always be my first home but it's August now and well, that means that it's been unbearably high temps for over a month now and it's only getting hotter.

I miss my husband like crazy, I miss having someone that hates crumbs on the counter as much as I do. I miss having someone that backs me up when I punish the kids for being hellions. I miss having someone to snuggle up with even though I rarely even want to snuggle.

I miss being a family and being together, the kids miss their daddy. These next 9 months are necessary for the kids education but it's going to be difficult. Luis and I both want to be somewhere else right now and that's hard on us. We want to be in Colorado so badly but it's still not a sure thing.

We're ready to buy a house and set down roots. We want a home, its something we've put off for a long time, I don't want to be paying for a house when I'm 50 so we pretty much need to get the ball rolling. Plans are being made, we're tired of waiting.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Monday, July 27, 2009

Karma is a bitch!

Karma is what keeps me in line. I'm scared of Karma, I know that bad things will come back to bite me in the ass every time.

Not everyone believes in Karma and I get that, some people believe in free will and that's fine too. My mom is Catholic and therefor doesn't believe in Karma however, she does believe that "what goes around, comes around," which to me is the same thing.

I think there are lots of ways we, as humans, justify having to be good. I mean laws do that too but there are no laws about being an asshole. Most people realize that there are repercussions to being a jerk and one of those is that it will come back around and screw you in the end.

When I see Karma at work it makes me giddy. Deep down I'm a vengeful person but I never act on it, I let nature do that for me and it always makes me smile when I witness it.

Mean people suck!

Friday, July 24, 2009

In other news....

Nicholas' tooth came out yesterday!!!

He was so excited about the gold dollars the tooth fairy left him, it was adorable.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

My big boy

Tonight at dinner Nicholas was eating a piece of fajita meat when he suddenly stopped and was holding his mouth. He said his tooth was bothering him so my mom and I thought he had a piece of food stuck in it or something. We looked in his mouth and didn't see anything so we touched his tooth and it moved....A LOT!!!

This is the first time he's said anything about it and it's practically already out, his very first tooth! He was so excited about it until a few moments later when we noticed it was bleeding from him biting down and hurting it. That was when he got all melodramatic about it and said I needed to remind him not to eat because it hurt his tooth. He also said he wanted to go home and lay in bed so nothing would bother his tooth. In the car Sophia asked if he wanted to play 'duck, duck, goose' when we got home, he responded, "Uhhhh, no Sophia, my tooth is loose. Remember?"

So, not only is he not eating until he loses his tooth he's also not playing, we'll see how long this lasts.

Monday, July 20, 2009

This really did just happen.

Mere: I just saw a new Camaro.

Me: Oh, those are so sweet.

Mere: Yeah, it's beautiful!

Me: I know, I love them.

Mere: Really, it's really hot.

Me: I know, if I was a guy I'd stick my penis in the fuel tank.

Mere: If you were a guy you'd stick your penis in anything, you filthy whore!

Me: This is true.

P.S. Why the fuck is Camry in the spellchecker but not Camaro? WTF?

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Open letters.

Dear Alphabet puzzle,
Does there seriously need to be 26 damn pieces? I mean, I know there are 26 letters and in theory an alphabet puzzle is a good idea but we're always missing at least 6 letters, another 3 have been gnawed on by dogs and it takes 20 goddamn minutes to clean up all the pieces scattered all over the room. For reals, rethink the whole '26 pieces' thing. Okay?
Stressed Out Mommy (that actually makes her kids clean their room)

Dear Chevron Houston Marathon,
You sold out in 36 hours? Seriously, you ruined my week!
Stressed Out Mommy (that now has to find another half marathon to meet her goal)

Dear Construction Workers at the ER,
I appreciated your helping me pass the 3 hours I spent at the ER more quickly by telling me stories about being in the big house. I also appreciated the small talk about the awful television shows that always seem to be on in the ER but it really made my day when you asked if I was faithful to my husband. I know I would never get with you but it's flattering knowing that a cute guy such as yourself would want to get with a saggy, old mother of 2 like me (just don't compare me to that stripper you told me about).
Stressed Out Mommy (that no longer has a UTI)

Dear Trainer teaching my class tomorrow morning clear across Houston at 8:30am,
I do not want to be in your class, I do not want to be stuck in traffic all morning just to be stuck in training all day and then stuck in traffic again to come home. That is why I accepted a job that is 1 mile from my house, you are lucky this is only for two days or I'd kick your fucking ass.
Stressed Out Mommy (with road rage)

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Complete and utter exhaustion!

This weekend was crazy busy! Luis got in town on Friday evening, we had the whole house to ourselves and it was wonderful. It was really nice not worrying that the kids were bugging my mom or that we were being too loud. We hung out with the kids, watched t.v. and played video games the first night, it was like we were a family again. The worst part about living away from each other is that we don't get any normal family time. Every time he comes in town it's because something is going on and my mom has a really bad habit of making plans for us without our consent, she doesn't understand that we don't always want to do something with somebody, sometimes we just want to be alone. So yeah, it was nice doing nothing together.

Saturday I had to work but Luis got to spend the afternoon with the kids, they loved having him to themselves, they talked his ear off, colored pictures for him and showed him everything under the sun. After I got off work we picked up the babysitters and had our first date in a long time. We went and had dinner then met up with some friends to have drinks and then we headed to the strip club. We had a lot of fun, it was my first time at a strip club so it was a little awkward but all in all I had a really good time.

Sunday was spent recovering from Saturday, Monday I worked in the morning and we hung out the rest of the day and today we went to San Antonio for Luis' appointment. Luis is leaving at 5 am tomorrow and I'm not looking forward to saying goodbye, it was nice having a man around and the kids loved having their daddy.

I can't wait till Luis gets out of Oklahoma so we can be back together again, it can't come soon enough, I'm already sick of Houston weather and I'm over living with my parents again. I know, surprise, surprise, I'm sick of my mom. I knew I would be sick of her soon, I'm honestly surprised it took this long. When school starts I'm going to switch to full time and that should help. We'll see.