Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Mr. Jones and Me

My daughter's hair is so nappy she looks like Adam Duritz of Counting Crows. I'm not sure what is wrong with her hair that makes it knot up so easily but if I don't brush it several times a day she starts to get dread locks and makes me want to go to Jamaica and smoke.

That little anecdote has nothing to do with Christmas but I wanted to get on here and wish everyone a Merry Christmas just the same (or you know, whatever it is you celebrate).

We're going to be heading down to Tejas to celebrate with J and family tomorrow and then Saturday we'll mosey on down to Houston to spend some time with my family. It will most likely be after the new year before I get back on here so Happy New Year as well and I'll see you all again for my new year's resolution post.

Live long and prosper.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

I put a ticker at the bottom of my blog for those of you that want to know how much weight I've lost even when I don't post about it. I'm going to try to update the ticker once or twice a week.

Monday, December 22, 2008

One Week!

Today was my one week post-op appointment with my doctor and things couldn't have gone better.

I have practically no pain at all (except when I lay on my port, that is still a little tender), all the steri-strips have come off and I am really pleased at how small my incisions are and they are healing great, I've lost 15 pounds since I started my liquid diet (2 weeks ago) and 7 of those pounds have been since surgery (1 week ago), and the best news of all: I can now eat normal foods.

I went in today expecting possibly mushy foods but my doctor said I can start eating normal foods. He normally waits till 10 days post-op but he said I was obviously doing fine so I could start eating at my discretion. Fucking awesome!

My weight loss will start slowing down now but that is a good thing because 15 pounds in 2 weeks is obviously too quick. The goal is about 1-2 pounds a week, that is healthy and steady weight loss.

After this post I'm going to try to keep the weight posts down to once a month, I have a paper that I am tracking my weight and measurements on and I will post when I do that to keep you all informed. You'll get a picture at 50 pounds, hopefully, you won't have to wait too long for that.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Lucy, I got some explainin' to do.

Since having surgery I think I realized for the fist time that what I did, having the Lap band procedure, would be considered drastic by most people. I know you're probably thinking that I'm crazy for just now having this thought but it really hadn't occurred to me as being drastic.

I started blogging again right before my surgery so I didn't really get to explain why I was able to go to such drastic measures without giving it much of a thought and I thought that maybe I should explain myself a little.

In my months away from blogging something happened that was pretty eye-opening for me, my mother was in the hospital. I know for those of you that read my blog before you're thinking, yeah she's been in the hospital a few times so what made this different? Well, this time something happened that none of us expected.

My mother has heart problems, lots of heart problems, she has high blood pressure, and she has an absorption problem where her body doesn't absorb certain minerals like it should; pretty much all of these problems are related to her being overweight her entire life. My mother takes about 30 pills a day just to keep her body functioning like a somewhat normal person.

This past year has been especially rough on her because she continues to go into A-fib (I can't even begin to spell out the whole word), where her heart beats erratically and makes her incredibly weak and oxygen starved. She had 2 cardioversions this year (where they take the paddles and shock your heart back into rhythm) and 1 other hospitalization where her heart went back into rhythm with medication.

After going into A-fib so often this year they decided to do a procedure called an ablation where they cauterize areas of her heart that are causing the arrhythmia. She went in for the procedure and we thought she would be up and about in a week or so, we were wrong. One of the medications they put her on for after the procedure caused her to go into kidney failure so her hospital stay was lengthened, they straightened out the medications and sent her home.

When she got home she wasn't getting better, in fact after a few days I got a phone call from her, she was pretty certain she was dying. My mother is 55 years old, my grandmother died at 56, this was a pretty scary concept for me to be dealing with especially since I had no warning from my family that she wasn't doing well. A few days later she ended up back in the ER and this time they said she had pneumonia, they put her on antibiotics and then sent her home, she still wasn't getting better. A few more days and back to the ER they found that she had fluid around her heart, they put her on a steroid and told her if it wasn't gone by morning she was going in for surgery. The next morning she was better, the fluid was almost completely gone and she could finally breathe again, it was finally over.

After the whole month that this all took place in my family was put through hell, my father was suffering trying to work as hard as he does and still make it to the hospital everyday, my brothers had to check on her constantly, my aunt pretty much lived with my mom during the whole ordeal and her other 4 sisters were all taking turns checking up on her. I pulled Nicholas out of school and spent a week down there helping her recover and the whole time I was just pissed off. You're probably wondering what this has to do with losing weight and why the hell I was so pissed, well, her weight problem was starting to affect a lot more than just her.

I was angry and I resented her for having to leave my husband and pack up my kids and drive 8 hours to take care of her, 2 of her sisters felt the same way I did and that was when I knew I was making the right decision getting the Lap band. I don't want to burden my family with my health, I don't want to take 30 pills a day, I don't want to be out of breath trying to walk down the hall and I really don't want to be fat.

What the fuck, Oklahoma!

What the damn hell!

When we moved here I asked everyone about the weather, does it snow? How cold does it get? Does it get really cold? Are you sure it doesn't snow?

You know what everyone told me? They said, no it doesn't really snow, it doesn't get that cold, seriously, it doesn't.

Okay, y'all, I'm from Texas, maybe you don't understand the term "cold" the way I do, it's fucking cold right now. When I wake up and my hand freezes when I touch the door knob to open the back door, that's fuckin' cold.

All I have to say is thank God we have a garage because I do not want to be scraping ice off my windshield every morning like Luis is doing, that shit sucks.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

He wins, hands down.

While I was in the hospital Luis decided to do something that made him look like the best dad in the world. He does these things every so often and makes me feel like I'm a shitty mom but for some reason the kids continue to side with me on everything so, I guess I'm not doing too bad in their eyes.

Not only did Luis finish all the Christmas shopping for me but he also sat down with the kids and helped them write letters to Santa. I know to some of you this is a yearly ritual but this is the first year my kids have done this and not only did they write to Santa but Luis wrote these awesome letters back to them.

Santa's Workshop
North Pole

Dear Nicholas,

Thank-you so much for your letter! I always enjoy receiving letters and postcards from children all over the world! Mrs. Claus, the Elves, and all the Reindeer also love it when I read all the wonderful letters out-loud to them.

I just returned from taking my new sleigh on a test flight. Wow, what a ride! It zips through the air like a big red rocket. I bet I now can fly from the North Pole to yours and everyone else's house even faster this year!The reindeer like the new sleigh too. It comes with extra space so I can pack a big bag of reindeer treats. All that flying makes them especially hungry! Plus it comes with a stereo so I can listen to all my CD's.

The reindeer, especially Rudolph, insisted I tell you that they are all looking forward to landing on your roof soon. Do me a favor and be sure to leave some carrots for them (reindeer love carrots).

Thanks a bunch. I'll see you soon. Until then, be sure to behave, and go to sleep early on Christmas Eve.


Dear Sophia,

I have finished reading your letter. It was very nice! I know being good while you
are two is rough, you have done a good job. I hear that it has been cold there at
Fort Sill. You did not ask for any socks to help keep you warm though. So I guess
the Barbie and Bratz you want are pretty cool.

Continue to be a good girl for your mom and dad until Christmas. When I come with all my goodies I will make sure to leave something very nice for you. If you could try and remember that I like cookies and milk. Be sure to go to bed early on Christmas night so that morning will come faster.


Santa Claus

Aren't those the best? He went online for ideas of what to write. The kids are going to be so excited to get those letters back, I can't wait to read it to them.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Surgery was...

...well, it was surgery. I'm really sore, my back and neck hurt from the stupid hospital bed and I was starving until 10:00 this morning when I finally got to eat...well, drink. Chicken broth has never tasted so good nor filled me up so fast.

I'm home now and I'm going to go lay down, I just wanted to drop by and let you all know that surgery went fine and I'm doing okay.

Monday, December 15, 2008

This is the day.

Today is a big deal, a huge day, a turning point in my life.

Today is my surgery, today at 7:30 a.m. I will be changing my life forever.

As of today I will no longer have excuses, after today I will have a choice, do what I am supposed to do or suffer the consequences.

In the past week leading up to today I've had a feeling that my life will be forever changed, that nothing will be the same and that includes me.

I will be changing right before your eyes, not only physically but mentally as well. I've been overweight my whole life and when your self-image changes the person you are changes too. I'm excited about the change, I'm ready for it and I'm really glad to be here sharing it with you.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

To J, with love.

Not to be outdone by you, I too decided to write you a farewell post in case I should die tomorrow during my surgery.

First I want to say that you are the closest thing to a sister I have ever had, only I think our bond is even more special because we chose each other. We don't always make sense and people think we are loony sometimes but I wouldn't have it any other way, we are special (yes, I mean the short bus kind of special).

There are a few other things I want to make sure you know if I should leave this world tomorrow.

1) Make sure Luis doesn't marry a skank, I know he'll remarry, he can't take care of himself. Just make sure she isn't some syphilis-carrying whore from the trailer park, and please make sure she has all her teeth.

2) Make sure Sophia gets on birth control and please have "the birds and the bees talk" with her, I wouldn't want that coming from Luis, he would be too embarrassed.

3) I want you to have my purses, I know you can appreciate them now, you came full circle, I'm so proud! I would give you my shoes too but that would be weird since we don't wear the same size.

4) Make sure Luis takes Pucca to the groomer at least once a month and gets bows put in her hair, she's a princess and she should look like one.

5) Make sure he bathes Susie and Dollar, I don't think he ever has and I'm not sure that he doesn't think they just clean themselves.

6) You and Luis fight my mom on this: I DO NOT WANT A FUNERAL! I think they are depressing and a waste of money, oh and I want my whole body donated, to a body farm if no one else wants it (Luis can have my eyes if he wants, don't ask, it's a long story).

7) Luis will be totally lost without me, give him a blowjob to cheer him up, please.

8) Don't worry, I'm not going to die tomorrow.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Check and check.

I got the costume finished for Nicholas' play today, it turned out good considering I've never had a need to make a shepherd's outfit before. I made the head piece entirely too complicated but whatevs, it worked.

I also managed to get one of my two tests taken and I am well on my way to getting a B in western civ and after that, if I so choose, apply for my associates degree, but I haven't decided yet on that one.

The Dish Network guy called me at 6:50 am, can you fucking believe that shit? He is so lucky that I went to bed at 8:30 last night (I'm exhausted because of this liquid diet) and my alarm went off in just 10 minutes so I didn't mind. They're coming out to fix the kid's dish tonight...for the second time in 3 weeks.

I take my last test in the morning and then get my bloodwork done on Sunday and all my shit is taken care of, hell yeah! Monday can't get here soon enough.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

So much to do, so little time.

I have a whole boat load of things to do before my surgery Monday and I'm worried that I won't be able to get them all done.

I have to get the puppy to the vet for her next round of shots, I have to finish Nicholas' shepherd costume for the Christmas play at school, I have to get the Dish Network people out here to fix the dish in the kid's room, I have my pre-op appointment with my doctor, I have to take 2 tests for my history class, and I have to go to the hospital for 2 more blood tests on Sunday.

I can't believe that I'm having surgery in 5 days, I've never had any kind of surgery before, the closest thing was yesterday when they shoved a camera down my throat to look at my stomach. I'm really anxious, I just want to get it over with and start healing.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Pucca, Pucca, Pucca Dance Party!

So, along with my surgery coming up in a week something else happened while I was away from blog land. This was a very unexpected something, something that even I barely believe.

We got a puppy!

The getting a puppy part isn't the hard part to believe, I mean I love dogs but we really never had any intention of owning 3 dogs, no, the hard part to believe is the kind of dog we got. We have 2 Labradors which are pretty big dogs, I've always loved big dogs but the last time I went to Houston I fell in love with a friend's Maltese. He is so freakin' precious and sooooooo tiny. It was unbelievable to me that you could have a dog that only grows to be 5 pounds, I mean my labs are 65 and 70 pounds, a 5 pound dog is crazy.

So, I came home and begged my husband to get one and the kids helped too since they loved my friend's puppy too. After much begging I got this adorable little girl and she is the sweetest thing. Her name is Pucca, she has the best personality, she gets along great with the other dogs and the kids obviously love her to pieces. I love to dress her in cute little sweaters and today I got 4 new hair bows for her (from this great website that has a monthly drawing, I won for November, dog lovers should check it out), I know I'm ridiculous but I love her.

How can you not love that face?

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Pure hell starts tomorrow.

As of tomorrow morning I am on a purely liquid diet, clear liquids to be exact. I'm on this diet for a week straight then I'm having surgery.

I decided to post about this because it's a huge part of my life right now and will be forever. I know a lot of people disagree with what I'm doing and it can be somewhat controversial but I am doing it and I will not be ashamed of it.

So, what exactly am I having done?

I'm having the Lap Band procedure.

I've battled with my weight my whole life and I know when I need help, so I asked for help and got it. In the beginning I wasn't going to tell anyone about it, J and my husband would be the only people that knew. I was ashamed that I needed to do this to lose weight, that I wasn't strong enough to lose it on my own. I realized though that this is going to be a part of me and I can't be ashamed of myself.

I had thought about having Lap Band done a while back but I wasn't eligible for it because my BMI wasn't high enough so I pretty much forgot about it. I tried Weight Watchers instead to help me lose the weight. My success with Weight Watchers was short lived because I wasn't able to stick with the plan and so I went to my doctor.

My doctor visit turned out to have some very bad news for me, my blood pressure was high, very high and he wanted to monitor me more closely. Within a month I was put on blood pressure medicine, the same kind my mother was on. At the same time though my mom was in the hospital suffering from multiple complications from a procedure that was done on her heart. I was scared for her and I was scared for myself, 26 is too young to be having these problems and I didn't want to end up like her.

My high blood pressure actually made me a candidate for Lap Band now and so I decided to pursue it. So, a week from tomorrow begins a new chapter in my life, a new way of eating and a new resolve to make this time the time that works.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Guess who's back, bitches?

I'm back, no appologies, no conscience, no matter. I really missed you guys but getting away from the blogging scene really helped me clear my head, it also helped to clear my blog.

I'm starting out fresh here, same ol' me but I'm going to do things a little differently this time. I'm still going to be honest, sometimes brutally honest and if you don't like it then you don't have to read this but this time I'm not going to put myself out there like I did before.

It's really easy for people to read a blog and leave comments and forget that they are talking to a real person, with real feelings. That being said, if you start shit with me expect retaliation.

I know I'm not perfect, if I make a mistake, I'm sorry, I'm human. My goal here isn't to hurt or offend anyone so if I do, tell me, I will sincerely appologize. Sometimes I'm outspoken and say too much but I try to keep myself in check but ultimately, this is my blog...I just let you read it!