What grown men do with GI Joes

I got this from a friend of mine on facebook, I had to share it.

Karma is a bitch!

Karma is what keeps me in line. I'm scared of Karma, I know that bad things will come back to bite me in the ass every time.

Not everyone believes in Karma and I get that, some people believe in free will and that's fine too. My mom is Catholic and therefor doesn't believe in Karma however, she does believe that "what goes around, comes around," which to me is the same thing.

I think there are lots of ways we, as humans, justify having to be good. I mean laws do that too but there are no laws about being an asshole. Most people realize that there are repercussions to being a jerk and one of those is that it will come back around and screw you in the end.

When I see Karma at work it makes me giddy. Deep down I'm a vengeful person but I never act on it, I let nature do that for me and it always makes me smile when I witness it.

Mean people suck!

In other news....

Nicholas' tooth came out yesterday!!!

He was so excited about the gold dollars the tooth fairy left him, it was adorable.

My big boy

Tonight at dinner Nicholas was eating a piece of fajita meat when he suddenly stopped and was holding his mouth. He said his tooth was bothering him so my mom and I thought he had a piece of food stuck in it or something. We looked in his mouth and didn't see anything so we touched his tooth and it moved....A LOT!!!

This is the first time he's said anything about it and it's practically already out, his very first tooth! He was so excited about it until a few moments later when we noticed it was bleeding from him biting down and hurting it. That was when he got all melodramatic about it and said I needed to remind him not to eat because it hurt his tooth. He also said he wanted to go home and lay in bed so nothing would bother his tooth. In the car Sophia asked if he wanted to play 'duck, duck, goose' when we got home, he responded, "Uhhhh, no Sophia, my tooth is loose. Remember?"

So, not only is he not eating until he loses his tooth he's also not playing, we'll see how long this lasts.

Hey esse, don't you know I'm loco?

Sometimes my kid cracks me the fuck up!!!!!

This really did just happen.

Mere: I just saw a new Camaro.

Me: Oh, those are so sweet.

Mere: Yeah, it's beautiful!

Me: I know, I love them.

Mere: Really, it's really hot.

Me: I know, if I was a guy I'd stick my penis in the fuel tank.

Mere: If you were a guy you'd stick your penis in anything, you filthy whore!

Me: This is true.









P.S. Why the fuck is Camry in the spellchecker but not Camaro? WTF?

Open letters.

Dear Alphabet puzzle,
Does there seriously need to be 26 damn pieces? I mean, I know there are 26 letters and in theory an alphabet puzzle is a good idea but we're always missing at least 6 letters, another 3 have been gnawed on by dogs and it takes 20 goddamn minutes to clean up all the pieces scattered all over the room. For reals, rethink the whole '26 pieces' thing. Okay?
Thanks,
Stressed Out Mommy (that actually makes her kids clean their room)

Dear Chevron Houston Marathon,
You sold out in 36 hours? Seriously, you ruined my week!
Thanks,
Stressed Out Mommy (that now has to find another half marathon to meet her goal)

Dear Construction Workers at the ER,
I appreciated your helping me pass the 3 hours I spent at the ER more quickly by telling me stories about being in the big house. I also appreciated the small talk about the awful television shows that always seem to be on in the ER but it really made my day when you asked if I was faithful to my husband. I know I would never get with you but it's flattering knowing that a cute guy such as yourself would want to get with a saggy, old mother of 2 like me (just don't compare me to that stripper you told me about).
Thanks,
Stressed Out Mommy (that no longer has a UTI)

Dear Trainer teaching my class tomorrow morning clear across Houston at 8:30am,
I do not want to be in your class, I do not want to be stuck in traffic all morning just to be stuck in training all day and then stuck in traffic again to come home. That is why I accepted a job that is 1 mile from my house, you are lucky this is only for two days or I'd kick your fucking ass.
Thanks,
Stressed Out Mommy (with road rage)

Complete and utter exhaustion!

This weekend was crazy busy! Luis got in town on Friday evening, we had the whole house to ourselves and it was wonderful. It was really nice not worrying that the kids were bugging my mom or that we were being too loud. We hung out with the kids, watched t.v. and played video games the first night, it was like we were a family again. The worst part about living away from each other is that we don't get any normal family time. Every time he comes in town it's because something is going on and my mom has a really bad habit of making plans for us without our consent, she doesn't understand that we don't always want to do something with somebody, sometimes we just want to be alone. So yeah, it was nice doing nothing together.

Saturday I had to work but Luis got to spend the afternoon with the kids, they loved having him to themselves, they talked his ear off, colored pictures for him and showed him everything under the sun. After I got off work we picked up the babysitters and had our first date in a long time. We went and had dinner then met up with some friends to have drinks and then we headed to the strip club. We had a lot of fun, it was my first time at a strip club so it was a little awkward but all in all I had a really good time.

Sunday was spent recovering from Saturday, Monday I worked in the morning and we hung out the rest of the day and today we went to San Antonio for Luis' appointment. Luis is leaving at 5 am tomorrow and I'm not looking forward to saying goodbye, it was nice having a man around and the kids loved having their daddy.

I can't wait till Luis gets out of Oklahoma so we can be back together again, it can't come soon enough, I'm already sick of Houston weather and I'm over living with my parents again. I know, surprise, surprise, I'm sick of my mom. I knew I would be sick of her soon, I'm honestly surprised it took this long. When school starts I'm going to switch to full time and that should help. We'll see.

Preview

So, it's been awhile since I did an update about how I'm doing since my surgery. For those of you that don't know, I had lap band surgery back in December. So far I'm doing really well.

I've completely changed my eating habits, I've totally cut out all carbonated beverages, I rarely eat bread and french fries make me hurl so I've pretty much cut those out too. I eat a lot of salad, fruit cups, yogurt, cooked vegetables and of course, I still reward myself with some Blue Bell ice cream.

My starting weight was 260 pounds, today I'm 217 pounds. My first goal is to reach 200 pounds, once I hit that then I will reevaluate where I'm at and set a realistic final goal weight. Regardless of what that number may be I'm trying to reach it by February or March so I can meet with a plastic surgeon to discuss my well-earned tummy tuck and breast lift with implants (this weight loss has really taken a toll on my chest).

I want to post a before and after picture on here when I reach my goal but I've somehow misplaced my before picture so hopefully I will find where I stored it before February rolls around. For now though, I can give you this:

January 2009 - 250 lbs

June 2009 - 220 lbs.

When I first started running I never expected to get something more than improving my physical health, I just did it because it's good for you and it burns a ton of calories. I've lost a lot of weight running but that's not even close to being my favorite part about running.

Every time I run I'm challenging myself and, even though I try to deny it, I'm a highly competitive person. I like to win but even more than beat someone else I like to beat myself. I love to improve who I am mentally and physically.

So, for me running is a way that I can improve myself and it gives me a definite goal to work towards. Every 5K I've done so far, I've beat my previous time, it makes me feel so good to know that I'm going out there and giving it my all.

Some days I feel like there is no way I can run what's on my schedule (like Tuesday, 6 miles, I don't know how I'm going to do it) but I always go out there and just do it. I feel such a sense of accomplishment after a long run like that and it makes me feel like I can do anything that I put my mind to.

I just want to keep pushing myself, I don't ever want to feel worthless like I used to ever again.

My not so fluffy fluff ball

Awhile back one of my dogs, Pucca, almost died. She got under the fence into the neighbors backyard and one of their basset hounds bit her. He got her good and the vet said if she had gotten bit anywhere else she would probably have been dead. She's 5 pounds soaking wet and the basset hound was about 60 pounds. He bit her across her hips and left two very large puncture wounds.

Anyway, the point of this story is that while she was healing we had to be very careful with her, she couldn't walk for 3 days and even when she did start walking again she was very, very sore. We weren't able to groom her until she healed and that included brushing her because she was so tender.

Well, after a few weeks of not brushing a Maltese they get really nappy. So, I decided I would take her to the groomer and just shave her, after all she had to get shaved around her wounds so this way her hair would all grow back to one length. Well, time got away from me, I got busy with work and before I knew it a month had passed and I still hadn't taken her in. Today I took her in and I felt like the worst mommy on the planet. She looked like a broke down hooker.

My poor baby got shaved big time and now she looks like a little rat but at least all her matts are gone and we can start over with brushing her every night. Poor baby just look so tiny.

This was the best picture I could get, apparently she's a little embarrassed about her lack of hair.

I'm wrong, I know this.

There is a guy at my work who is a really nice guy but he likes to make inappropriate jokes sometimes...okay, a lot. Now, anyone that knows me knows that I am all kinds of inappropriate so I really like this guy, I think he's hilarious and sometimes, just sometimes, I like to be inappropriate also.

Well, one of the ladies at work has taken offense to him and she reported him to our manager. Every single one of us defended him (except her, of course) when our manager came to us to ask if we are feeling sexually harassed. I believe my response to her was that I like to be sexually harassed. What? I do!

The sucky part (well, aside from him getting reprimanded) is that now he doesn't joke around anymore. This really bothers me. He's the only guy at work and well, everyone knows I get along with guys better and I like to cut up and make "that's what she said" jokes with him and now he won't do it.

Today, in protest to him not sexually harassing us anymore, I slapped his ass and if he doesn't shape up soon I'm going to make him grab my boob. Damn it, next time I bend over to pick up a paper clip I expect a comment about my ass, it's just good manners.

I'm so excited....

and I just can't hide it!

Luis comes in town on Friday!!!

He has a doctor's appointment in San Antonio so he's coming down to Houston since he'll be so close. I'm so excited because last time he was here we didn't get to spend a lot of "alone time" due to my mother hovering and him trying to cut off his own finger.

This time my mother is going to be out of town so we don't have to worry about doing what she wants to do and worrying that we'll hurt her feelings if we don't invite her to go with us somewhere. Luis and my mom get along like oil and water so it's going to be nice not having to mediate too.

We're going to have a blast this weekend, I just know it!

Run Wild 5K

Yesterday was super freakin' hot but the race went well. We had a blast!


I beat my previous time by like 3 seconds so I was happy with that, considering it was 10 degrees hotter out this time.

The kids did great on their run and I'm pretty sure this is going to be something they do whenever I do a race. They love going out and running with me and they get a medal so they think they are the coolest kids on the planet.


Here are a few pics from yesterday, I couldn't get them to look at the camera because I was having a lot of problems with my camera on my phone, looks like my phone did not come away unscathed from the beach. Hope everyone had a great 4th of July too!

The Elephant in the Room

I love looking like a girl but I hate feeling like one.

I hate hormones and feelings.
I hate getting hurt by the things people say and do.
I hate that it bothers me when people talk shit about me.
I hate that I can't let things go.
I hate how girls are catty and jealous and how sometimes that includes me.
I hate that you can't erase some memories to make your life easier and make you hurt less.
I hate when someone says I'm not good enough, I really hate that.
I hate how some people cannot care enough to try.
I hate how four years now seems meaningless.
I hate that I'm still so hurt by it all that sometimes I still cry over it.
I hate how some people continue to pour salt on my wound.
I hate that I can't turn away and ignore it.
I hate that I still care.
I hate that I am the only one that still cares.
I hate that I can't retaliate even though I really don't want to.
I hate that I lose sleep over my hate.
I hate that the only reason I hate this much is because I actually love.
I hate how complicated life is.

My thoughts

Colorado has the lowest obesity rate in the nation, so when Luis and I finally move to Colorado does that mean we will automatically become thinner?

I hope so!!!