Thursday, July 2, 2009

The Elephant in the Room

I love looking like a girl but I hate feeling like one.

I hate hormones and feelings.
I hate getting hurt by the things people say and do.
I hate that it bothers me when people talk shit about me.
I hate that I can't let things go.
I hate how girls are catty and jealous and how sometimes that includes me.
I hate that you can't erase some memories to make your life easier and make you hurt less.
I hate when someone says I'm not good enough, I really hate that.
I hate how some people cannot care enough to try.
I hate how four years now seems meaningless.
I hate that I'm still so hurt by it all that sometimes I still cry over it.
I hate how some people continue to pour salt on my wound.
I hate that I can't turn away and ignore it.
I hate that I still care.
I hate that I am the only one that still cares.
I hate that I can't retaliate even though I really don't want to.
I hate that I lose sleep over my hate.
I hate that the only reason I hate this much is because I actually love.
I hate how complicated life is.

3 comments:

That Chick Over There said...

Amen!

~Rubyredruca~ said...

F*ck it! Don't waste your time on the bullshit. Stick to what makes you happy, because we ALL feel the same way about the hates...

Tricia said...

It sucks when you know that you shouldn't waste you time or your breath, but you still can't get over it. I have a few things like this. Drives me insane.