Thursday, July 2, 2009

The Elephant in the Room

I love looking like a girl but I hate feeling like one.

I hate hormones and feelings.
I hate getting hurt by the things people say and do.
I hate that it bothers me when people talk shit about me.
I hate that I can't let things go.
I hate how girls are catty and jealous and how sometimes that includes me.
I hate that you can't erase some memories to make your life easier and make you hurt less.
I hate when someone says I'm not good enough, I really hate that.
I hate how some people cannot care enough to try.
I hate how four years now seems meaningless.
I hate that I'm still so hurt by it all that sometimes I still cry over it.
I hate how some people continue to pour salt on my wound.
I hate that I can't turn away and ignore it.
I hate that I still care.
I hate that I am the only one that still cares.
I hate that I can't retaliate even though I really don't want to.
I hate that I lose sleep over my hate.
I hate that the only reason I hate this much is because I actually love.
I hate how complicated life is.

3 comments:

That Chick Over There said...

Amen!

~Rubyredruca~ said...

F*ck it! Don't waste your time on the bullshit. Stick to what makes you happy, because we ALL feel the same way about the hates...

I am Trish Marie said...

It sucks when you know that you shouldn't waste you time or your breath, but you still can't get over it. I have a few things like this. Drives me insane.