Last night I stayed up for an hour past my bedtime on the phone with my BFF trying to devise an elaborate and painful death for my cell phone come March when I finally get a new one.
My phone was given to me by my cousin in exchange for what was supposed to be money but ended up being 20 bucks and a bar tab. At the time I hated the stupid phone I had just gotten because it was a total wad of shit and my cousin, who buys a new cell phone every two weeks it seems, had her old blackjack that basically, wasn't old at all. She never had problems with it...ever! But as soon as I touched it the stupid thing turned to shit.
This phone will drop my calls for no reason, it only gets reception in my house when I hop on one foot while picking my nose, it receives missed calls 4 days late and it causes other phones to unintentionally call me. I HATE IT!!!!!
So, last night I had this brilliant idea to make a video and spoof Office Space and go out into a field and beat the shit out of my phone with a baseball bat, of course while listening to some hardcore rap music. This conversation then turned into us acting like ninjas and killing the phone with Chinese throwing stars, of course we would need training in the use of Chinese throwing stars so we don't cut our fingers off in the process. It would suck trying to text on my new phone with no fingers.
My husband had the idea this morning that we could set up an interrogation room and torture my phone, slowly removing each of its buttons with tweezers. I want this phone to die a slow and painful death but fantasizing about its death is just making March come even slower.