You're Not Welcome

I have decided to start calling my female cycle Gertrude, maybe Gertie for short. I hate that name and I hate my cycle so it just fits (sorry to any readers that may be named Gertrude). I was supposed to be done with this crap but damn Gertie keeps coming back. Gertie makes me a little crazy like just last night. I was driving to the worst place on Earth, Walmart, and I started crying, I just kept thinking 'I hate my life, I hate this place, I want to move but it's just so hopeless' and then the floodgates opened and I was sobbing (I know, I'm crazy, like straight jacket kind of crazy). Well, not even two minutes later my daughter said something strange (I don't even remember what it was) and all of a sudden I was cracking up laughing, like hysterically. At this point I realized something wasn't right and made a note to call my doctor Monday morning. But it wasn't until I got home and saw Gertie was here that it finally all made sense. Stupid Gertie, I wish that bitch would die.