Open letters.

Dear Alphabet puzzle,
Does there seriously need to be 26 damn pieces? I mean, I know there are 26 letters and in theory an alphabet puzzle is a good idea but we're always missing at least 6 letters, another 3 have been gnawed on by dogs and it takes 20 goddamn minutes to clean up all the pieces scattered all over the room. For reals, rethink the whole '26 pieces' thing. Okay?
Thanks,
Stressed Out Mommy (that actually makes her kids clean their room)

Dear Chevron Houston Marathon,
You sold out in 36 hours? Seriously, you ruined my week!
Thanks,
Stressed Out Mommy (that now has to find another half marathon to meet her goal)

Dear Construction Workers at the ER,
I appreciated your helping me pass the 3 hours I spent at the ER more quickly by telling me stories about being in the big house. I also appreciated the small talk about the awful television shows that always seem to be on in the ER but it really made my day when you asked if I was faithful to my husband. I know I would never get with you but it's flattering knowing that a cute guy such as yourself would want to get with a saggy, old mother of 2 like me (just don't compare me to that stripper you told me about).
Thanks,
Stressed Out Mommy (that no longer has a UTI)

Dear Trainer teaching my class tomorrow morning clear across Houston at 8:30am,
I do not want to be in your class, I do not want to be stuck in traffic all morning just to be stuck in training all day and then stuck in traffic again to come home. That is why I accepted a job that is 1 mile from my house, you are lucky this is only for two days or I'd kick your fucking ass.
Thanks,
Stressed Out Mommy (with road rage)